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Month: March 2020

Introduction to the Prohibitions of the Mourner (3) – Moed Katan 21a

Introduction to the Prohibitions of the Mourner (3) – Moed Katan 21a

The Bavli in Moed Katan preserves one more list of behaviors that are prohibited to the mourner. This list contains some of what appeared in the extended sugya on 14b-16a.

תלמוד בבלי מסכת מועד קטן דף כא עמוד א

תנו רבנן אלו דברים שאבל אסור בהן: אסור במלאכה וברחיצה ובסיכה ובתשמיש המטה ובנעילת הסנדל ואסור לקרות בתורה ובנביאים ובכתובים ולשנות במשנה במדרש ובהלכות ובתלמוד ובאגדות.

Bavli, Moed Katan 21a

Our Rabbis have taught: These are the behaviors that are prohibited to the mourner – [the mourner is] prohibited in melacha (work), washing, anointing, sexual intimacy, wearing leather shoes, and is prohibited from reading in the Torah, the Nevi’im and the Ketuvim, [and is prohibited from] learning in the Mishna, Midrash, Laws, in the Talmud and the Agadot1. 

What distinguishes this list of five (or six) prohibitions from the lengthy analysis on 14b-16a? 

First, this list directly parallels the dinim of Yom Kippur2and Tisha b’Av3. Linking the experience of private mourning to that of national mourning (Tisha b’Av) is a powerful reminder that no one ever mourns alone. By paralleling Yom Kippur we again have an echo of the idea that mourning and loss come as the result of sin which demands atonement and repentance. 

Second, Tosafot4on the page (s.v. elu devarim) claim that this list only contains actions from which the mourner is prohibited as opposed to behaviors that must be done.

The connection between the experience of mourning and Yom Kippur / Tisha b’Av is evocative. The prohibitions on Yom Kippur are called עינוים, innuyim refer to behaviors that are meant to make us feel physical discomfort. One of the more complex Halakhic questions that we are going to have to address is to what extent, if at all, those same behaviors during aveilut are meant to cause physical discomfort to the mourner. Is the point of mourning to give a structure to the expression of grief or to experience innuy? We will continue to return to this distinction as we work through some of the individual behaviors.

Note: This was written before we began sheltering in our homes. One of the core prohibitions during the week of shivva forbids leaving our home. In this difficult time, as many are sitting shivva for their loved ones, we are all struggling at home and praying for healing.

Introduction to the Prohibitions of the Mourner (2) – Moed Katan 14b to 16a, summary

Introduction to the Prohibitions of the Mourner (2) – Moed Katan 14b to 16a, summary

The gemara in Moed Katan (from 14b until 16a) addresses fourteen different behaviors that are either required or forbidden by a mourner: observance during a Holiday, haircuts, head-covering, wearing Tefillin, greeting, learning Torah, laundry, tearing garments, over-turning the bed, work, washing, wearing leather shoes, sexual intercourse and sending sacrifices to the Beit ha-Mikdash. The sugya is confident about the rules relating to the mourner and quotes a verse (or one berayta) to prove the rule. After clarifying the rule for a mourner, the sugya then seeks to understand how that same rule does or does not apply to one who has been excommunicated and a person with tzara’at1.

Here is an example of that structure:

תלמוד בבלי מסכת מועד קטן דף יד עמוד ב

אבל אסור בתספורת מדקאמר להו רחמנא לבני אהרן (ויקרא י:ו) רָאשֵׁיכֶם אַל תִּפְרָעוּ  

מכלל דכולי עלמא אסור (דף טו עמוד א). 

מנודין ומצורעין מה הן בתספורת? 

תא שמע מנודין ומצורעין אסורין לספר ולכבס…

Bavli, Moed Katan, 14b

A mourner is prohibited from cutting their hair, as the merciful one taught in the Torah to the children of Aharon, “Do not bare your heads” (Vayikra 10:6) –

from this we learn that everyone else is prohibited from cutting their hair.

Those who have been excommunicated and those with tzara’at – what is their rule regarding haircuts?

Come and hear: Those who have been excommunicated and those with tzara’at are prohibited from cutting their hair… …

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Introduction to the Prohibitions of the Mourner (1) – Moed Katan 14b to 16a

Introduction to the Prohibitions of the Mourner (1) – Moed Katan 14b to 16a

We are now going to begin a lengthy series that addresses the various behaviors that a mourner may not engage in during shivva, shloshim and the 12 months. In some ways, this is the bread and butter of Hilkhot Aveilut, as many mourners’ questions  involve these topics. As we will see, some of these prohibitions feel intuitive to us today while others speak less readily to the 21st century mourner.

I also want to emphasize the following point: people in Yeshivot often think about the laws of Aveilut as based heavily on minhag. While a few areas are, in fact, driven by long standing communal practice – particularly around matters relating to davening – the vast majority of this material functions as normative Rabbinic law.

Despite the fact one siman asks which aspects of Aveilut are from the Torah and which from the Rabbis, most of these laws are understood to be Rabbinic, with a few exceptions.  However, there does appear to be more flexibility in the laws of Aveilut than we might typically expect to find. Nonetheless, we should not read that flexibility as meaning that these are “just” minhagim;  instead, that flexibility reflects the Rabbinic understanding that these laws are meant to express and respond to a deep human need.  …

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