Tearing Garments (קריעה) – What if the mourner can’t stand? (03)

Tearing Garments (קריעה) – What if the mourner can’t stand? (03)

 

פתחו לי שערי חסד – Open up your gates of love… but first get me up this flight of stairs!

I asked this question of Facebook, and many comments expressed hurt or insult at the notion that a person would not be permitted to tear kriya in a wheelchair. I agree that such a position seems untenable, but I want to share the approaches of a few important contemporary poskim that shed light on how to approach Halakha. This post will be a bit more technical than usual.

In his commentary on Hilkhot Aveilut, Rav Feivel Cohen asks this very question (ע’ בדי השלחן סימן שמ סק”ח) and says צ”ע, this needs further analysis. In his ביאורים there (ד”ה מעומד וכו), he outlines both sides of the calculus – making the argument both pro and con regarding tearing while sitting. On the one hand, there does appear to be a minority opinion that allows for tearing while sitting. For example, See רא”ש מו”ק ג:מד who quotes two approaches of the ראב”ד, one of which allows for tearing while seated. The Rosh also points out that the רי”ף does not quote the story of Ameimar, an omission which could be understood to say that kriya ‘works’ even while sitting. The בית יוסף in שמ:א quotes this passage of the רא”ש and claims that maybe the ראב”ד holds like his first answer, that kriya must be done while standing, and that the רי”ף is an argument from silence. Given that this voice exists in the history of Halakha, it seems logical that it is better to tear sitting and at least fulfill that minority voice. At the end of his analysis, he again concludes with a צ”ע. 

On the other hand, Rav Cohen says, since we ultimately pasken against the Rif and the Ra’avad (as understood by the Rosh), one is not permitted to wantonly destroy their garments. This could even amount to a violation of the prohibition of בל תשחית. If we think that tearing clothing while sitting does not fulfill any mitzvah, then it could even become forbidden. At the end of his analysis Rav Cohen again concludes with a צ”ע.

Rav Ovadia Yosef, in his encyclopedic work חזון עובדיה on Aveilut, paskens clearly that a person who cannot stand may simply tear while seated or lying down (See דיני קריעה אות א עמ’ ריז)1. However, in a lengthy footnote there (הע’ א) Rav Ovadia refers to the position of Rav Meir Bransdorfer (שו”ת קנה בושם  ח”ב יו”ד קב) who claims that tearing kriya while seated amounts to nothing and should not be done. It is possible that Rav Bransdorfer has been influenced by the Kabalistic work מעבר יבק in אמרי נעם פל”א who offers a mystical approach to why kriya must be torn while standing2. Rav Ovadia goes on at length to show why Rav Bransdorfer in simply wrong. 

While the psak of Rav Bransdorfer need not be followed, I do think that he reminds us that, in addition to the emotional catharsis of kriya, there are also formal rules that give structure to and place limitations on how it ought to be carried out. One of the beautiful aspects of the laws of Aveilut is that the legal material is constantly in conversation with the lived experience of the mourner. That conversation can make decision making in this area quite messy, but, nonetheless, I wish that poskim were able to live with that messiness all the time, acknowledging the tension between law and life and trying, in each circumstance, to maintain that delicate but necessary balance.

Footnotes

  1. See the פני ברוך א:ח הע’ לו where he paskens clearly that a sick person who cannot stand may tear while sitting or lying down.
  2. See also שפתי רננות פרק תשיעי where the מעבר יבק gives mystical explanations for kriya more broadly. In addition, see the דברי סופרים סימן שמ סק”ו as well as the נטעי גבריאל in נז:ח עם הע’ טז who quote this teshuva but appear to reject it.
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