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Category: Aveilut

Tearing Garments (קריעה) an External Expression of an Internal Experience (04)

Tearing Garments (קריעה) an External Expression of an Internal Experience (04)

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Is the obligation to tear kriya from the Torah or from the Rabbis?

Bavli, Moed Katan 24a

Rav Taḥlifa bar Avimi said that Shmuel said: A mourner who did not let his hair grow wild and did not rend his garments is liable to receive the death penalty as it is stated following the deaths of Nadab and Abihu concerning the surviving sons of Aaron: Let not the hair of your heads go loose, neither rend your clothes, that you not die (Leviticus 10:6). From here it may be deduced that any other mourner who did not let his hair grow wild or rend his clothes is liable to receive the death penalty.

תלמוד בבלי מסכת מועד קטן דף כד עמוד א

אמר רב תחליפא בר אבימי אמר שמואל אבל שלא פרע ושלא פירם חייב מיתה 

שנאמר ראשיכם אל תפרעו ובגדיכם לא תפרמו ולא תמתו וגו’ 

הא אחר שלא פרע ושלא פירם חייב מיתה 

This text states clearly that the failure to tear kriya is a capital crime based on a Biblical verse. One might think that, therefore, the obligation itself should be understood as a Torah obligation. It is interesting to note that there is only one rishon who claims that the obligation of kriya comes from the Torah. The overwhelming majority understand citation of the verse and the harsh language as an asmachta (a hint from the Torah for a Rabbinic law).

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Tearing Garments (קריעה) – What if the mourner can’t stand? (03)

Tearing Garments (קריעה) – What if the mourner can’t stand? (03)

 

פתחו לי שערי חסד – Open up your gates of love… but first get me up this flight of stairs!

I asked this question of Facebook, and many comments expressed hurt or insult at the notion that a person would not be permitted to tear kriya in a wheelchair. I agree that such a position seems untenable, but I want to share the approaches of a few important contemporary poskim that shed light on how to approach Halakha. This post will be a bit more technical than usual.

In his commentary on Hilkhot Aveilut, Rav Feivel Cohen asks this very question (ע’ בדי השלחן סימן שמ סק”ח) and says צ”ע, this needs further analysis. In his ביאורים there (ד”ה מעומד וכו), he outlines both sides of the calculus – making the argument both pro and con regarding tearing while sitting. On the one hand, there does appear to be a minority opinion that allows for tearing while sitting. For example, See רא”ש מו”ק ג:מד who quotes two approaches of the ראב”ד, one of which allows for tearing while seated. The Rosh also points out that the רי”ף does not quote the story of Ameimar, an omission which could be understood to say that kriya ‘works’ even while sitting. The בית יוסף in שמ:א quotes this passage of the רא”ש and claims that maybe the ראב”ד holds like his first answer, that kriya must be done while standing, and that the רי”ף is an argument from silence. Given that this voice exists in the history of Halakha, it seems logical that it is better to tear sitting and at least fulfill that minority voice. At the end of his analysis, he again concludes with a צ”ע. 

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Tearing Garments (קריעה) an External Expression of an Internal Experience (03)

Tearing Garments (קריעה) an External Expression of an Internal Experience (03)

Wheelchair accessible Bima
A person can come up for an Aliya in a wheelchair, what about tearing kriya?

I asked this question of Facebook, and many comments expressed hurt or insult at the notion that a person would not be permitted to tear kriya in a wheelchair. I agree that such a position seems untenable, but I want to share the approaches of a few important contemporary poskim that shed light on how to approach Halakha. This post will be a bit more technical than usual.

In his commentary on Hilkhot Aveilut, Rav Feivel Cohen asks this very question (ע’ בדי השלחן סימן שמ סק”ח) and says צ”ע, this needs further analysis. In his ביאורים there (ד”ה מעומד וכו), he outlines both sides of the calculus – making the argument both pro and con regarding tearing while sitting. On the one hand, there does appear to be a minority opinion that allows for tearing while sitting. For example, See רא”ש מו”ק ג:מד who quotes two approaches of the ראב”ד, one of which allows for tearing while seated. The Rosh also points out that the רי”ף does not quote the story of Ameimar, an omission which could be understood to say that kriya ‘works’ even while sitting. The בית יוסף in שמ:א quotes this passage of the רא”ש and claims that maybe the ראב”ד holds like his first answer, that kriya must be done while standing, and that the רי”ף is an argument from silence. Given that this voice exists in the history of Halakha, it seems logical that it is better to tear sitting and at least fulfill that minority voice. At the end of his analysis, he again concludes with a צ”ע. 

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Tearing Garments (קריעה) – An External Expression of an Internal Experience (02)

Tearing Garments (קריעה) – An External Expression of an Internal Experience (02)

Last time, we learned a short narrative about the tragic passing of Ameimar’s grandson. There was some debate as to who exactly was tearing kriya, but either way the sugya assumed that the correct posture in which to tear kriya is while standing. It is also interesting to note that the idea of kriya itself seems to have a depth of meaning that is simply taken for granted throughout the Bavli.  The Gemara now looks for a Biblical source for this idea that kriya must take place when standing.

Bavli, Moed Katan 20b

Rami bar Ḥama said: From where is it derived that rending must be performed while standing?

As it is stated: “Then Job arose, and tore his coat” (Job 1:20). 

מועד קטן דף כ: 

אמר רמי בר חמא: מנין לקריעה שהיא מעומד?

שנאמר וַיָּקָם אִיּוֹב וַיִּקְרַע. 

In seeking a source for the obligation to tear while standing, the Gemara first looks to Job (Iyyov). The first chapter of the Book of Job is painful to read. My student, Liz Shayne, pointed out that perhaps turning to the tragic figure of Job was a way for Ameimar – whose story we read in the prior post – to express his grief. When the model for your own experience is Job, then you are signaling a particular kind of emotional turmoil. Job, a model of patience, piety and self-reflection, seems to suffer as a result of the Satan’s persuasion of God1. His cattle, sheep and camels are taken from him, and he finally tears kriya when he learns that his children have been taken as well.

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Tearing Garments (קריעה) – An External Expression of an Internal Experience (01)

Tearing Garments (קריעה) – An External Expression of an Internal Experience (01)

The practice of tearing garments at the funeral (קריעה, kriya) has developed in a fascinating manner. Throughout the Gemara the act of kriya seems more like a natural, almost spontaneous expression of loss or grief. In response to terrible news people, would rend their garments. The reality for most today is that the moment of tearing needs to be imbued with meaning because it takes place in a very limited context, not because it is a natural expression of loss.

When learning kriya, people often begin with the question of its authority – Rabbinic or Torah – a question we will address that in the third installment of the kriya essays.  But the psychology of this ritual is essential to its performance, and I am organizing this material around emotional potency rather than the typical Halakhic taxonomy. The physical act is meant to express an internal emotional state. Let’s look at one story about a particular Amora (rabbi from the Gemara) who experiences loss.  The Gemara in Moed Katan 20b tells of the tragic passing of Ameimar’s grandson. The following sugya asks some very specific legal questions about this story. We will begin with the narrative portion of the Gemara with a simple translation, intentionally maintaining the unclarified pronouns for now:

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An introduction (3) to the Laws of Mourning: Sheva Berachot & The Creation of the World

An introduction (3) to the Laws of Mourning: Sheva Berachot & The Creation of the World

תוהו ובוהוIn the first two essays we saw three different surprising sources offered by the Yerushalmi for the source of the seven days of shiva: the inauguration of the Mishkan, Miriam’s tzara’at and the seven-day Holiday from the prophecy of Amos. Each of these teaches us an important lesson about the nature of mourning.

From the inauguration of the Mishkan we learn about the holiness of death. From Miriam’s tzara’at we see the importance of being separated from the community to allow the process of healing to begin. From the prophecy of Amos we are reminded that even joyous days can be turned into darkness during this time of people’s lives.

I would like to conclude these introductory essays with an even more radical text. There is a Midrash known as either Lekach Tov or Pesikta Zutarta1.  

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An introduction (2) to the Laws of Mourning: Miriam’s tzara’at and the Prophecy of Amos

An introduction (2) to the Laws of Mourning: Miriam’s tzara’at and the Prophecy of Amos

In the previous essay, we introduced this puzzling text from the Yerushalmi that offered some unexpected sources for the seven-day mourning period. We discussed the use of the inauguration of the Mishkan in the rabbis’ explanation, and now we will look at their use of Miriam’s tzara’at and the prophecy of Amos. 

Miriam’s tzara’at – צרעת (Bamidbar 12)

The connection between death of a metzora (a person with a spiritual skin disease) is a bit more direct. Here the Yerushalmi combines two different verses to make its claim. In order to understand their juxtaposition, we need to see the few verses at the conclusion of this narrative. Miriam has already been struck with tzara’at, and her brothers are davening on her behalf. Here the Torah says:

במדבר י”ב:י”א-ט”ז

(יא) וַיֹּאמֶר אַהֲרֹן אֶל מֹשֶׁה בִּי אֲדֹנִי אַל נָא תָשֵׁת עָלֵינוּ חַטָּאת אֲשֶׁר נוֹאַלְנוּ וַאֲשֶׁר חָטָאנוּ: (יב) אַל נָא תְהִי כַּמֵּת אֲשֶׁר בְּצֵאתוֹ מֵרֶחֶם אִמּוֹ וַיֵּאָכֵל חֲצִי בְשָׂרוֹ: (יג) וַיִּצְעַק מֹשֶׁה אֶל יְקֹוָק לֵאמֹר אֵל נָא רְפָא נָא לָהּ: (יד) וַיֹּאמֶר יְקֹוָק אֶל מֹשֶׁה וְאָבִיהָ יָרֹק יָרַק בְּפָנֶיהָ הֲלֹא תִכָּלֵם שִׁבְעַת יָמִים תִּסָּגֵר שִׁבְעַת יָמִים מִחוּץ לַמַּחֲנֶה וְאַחַר תֵּאָסֵף: (טו) וַתִּסָּגֵר מִרְיָם מִחוּץ לַמַּחֲנֶה שִׁבְעַת יָמִים וְהָעָם לֹא נָסַע עַד הֵאָסֵף מִרְיָם: 

Bamidbar 12: 11-16

(11) And Aaron said to Moses, Oh, my lord, I plead with you, lay not the sin upon us in which we have done foolishly and in which we have sinned. (12) Let her not be as one dead, already half decomposed when he comes out of his mother’s womb. (13) And Moses cried to the Lord, saying, Heal her now, O God, I beseech You! (14) And the Lord said to Moses, If her father had but spit in her face, should she not be ashamed for seven days? Let her be quarantined outside the camp for seven days, and after that let her be brought in again. (15) So Miriam was quarantined outside the camp for seven days, and the people did not journey on until Miriam was brought in again.

The Yerushalmi here brings together the phrases “Let her not be as one dead (vs.12)” with “Let her be quarantined outside the camp for seven days” (vs. 14).” The experience of shiva for the mourner can sometimes make one feel cordoned off from the community. The mourner does not leave his or her home for a week. The community brings food, and the mourner is separated from communal life.

The separation is meant to give the mourner the emotional space to begin the process of healing. That journey can take days, weeks, months or years – depending on what the relationship looked like in life. Those first seven days are the most restrictive and meant to allow the healing to begin. The same might be said for the metzora, who must be separated from the community for (at least) a week while his or her body heals.

However, the physical healing of the metzora is meant to reflect a spiritual process as well. Just as the metzora must be outside of the camp, so too the mourner spends time “outside” the camp of the People. As the mourner gets up from shiva and takes a walk in the public sphere – leaving home for the first time in a week – we pray that the physical act of rising from the chair and walking out of the home can begin the journey toward emotional healing. 

Holidays and Mourning (Amos 8:10)1

The main rebuke of Amos against the Jewish People was that the rich and powerful were abusing the poor, the weak and the vulnerable. The vast majority of the book repeats this theme over and over again. That theme returns in chapter eight verse four as Amos turns to the leaders and says:

עמוס פרק ח:ד-ה 

(ד) שִׁמְעוּ זֹאת הַשֹּׁאֲפִים אֶבְיוֹן וְלַשְׁבִּית ענוי עֲנִיֵּי אָרֶץ: (ה) לֵאמֹר מָתַי יַעֲבֹר הַחֹדֶשׁ וְנַשְׁבִּירָה שֶּׁבֶר וְהַשַּׁבָּת וְנִפְתְּחָה בָּר לְהַקְטִין אֵיפָה וּלְהַגְדִּיל שֶׁקֶל וּלְעַוֵּת מֹאזְנֵי מִרְמָה: 

Amos 8:4-5

(4) Hear this, O you who would swallow up and trample down the needy, even to make the poor of the land to fail and come to an end, (5) Saying, When will the New Moon festival be past that we may sell grain? And the Sabbath that we may offer wheat for sale, making the ephah [measure] small and the shekel [measure] great and falsifying the scales by deceit,

The Navi goes on to say that, as a result of this abuse, there will come a day of great suffering:

עמוס פרק ח:ט וְהָיָה בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא נְאֻם אֲדֹנָי יְקֹוִק וְהֵבֵאתִי הַשֶּׁמֶשׁ בַּצָּהֳרָיִם וְהַחֲשַׁכְתִּי לָאָרֶץ בְּיוֹם אוֹר: 

Amos 8:9 And in that day, says the Lord God, I will cause the sun to go down at noon, and I will darken the earth in the broad daylight.

The Yerushalmi, in discussing the seven-day mourning period, quotes the first half of the next verse:

עמוס פרק ח:י וְהָפַכְתִּי חַגֵּיכֶם לְאֵבֶל וְכָל שִׁירֵיכֶם לְקִינָה וְהַעֲלֵיתִי עַל כָּל מָתְנַיִם שָׂק וְעַל כָּל רֹאשׁ קָרְחָה וְשַׂמְתִּיהָ כְּאֵבֶל יָחִיד וְאַחֲרִיתָהּ כְּיוֹם מָר: 

Amos 8:10 And I will turn your feasts into mourning and all your songs into lamentation, and I will cause sackcloth to be put upon all loins and baldness [for mourning] shall come on every head; and I will make that time as the mourning for an only son, and the end of it as a bitter day2.

The Navi is here turning to the Jewish leadership and telling them that their terrible behavior will ultimately lead to their own destruction. The greatest irony will be that, when that day comes, what was once a time for great celebration will become a period of mourning and elegy. Why might the Rabbis in the Yerushalmi have sought ought this prophetic context as a source for seven days of mourning?

As we know, part of what happens after loss is that even times that were once full of joy become emotionally complex. The experience of the first yontif or the first big family gathering without a loved one can be jarring. That person’s empty seat can bring bring a flood of emotions in unexpected ways.

These two models brings the Yerushalmi to a close and serve as an important framing for learning this area of Halakha. The inauguration of the Mishkan reminds us of the holiness of this learning. Miriam’s tzara’at teaches the mourner of the value of being set apart from the community for a period of time. Finally, Amos reminds us of the complexity of life after loss – that what was once a holiday can become a time of sadness.

An introduction (1) to the Laws of Mourning: The Inauguration of the Mishkan

An introduction (1) to the Laws of Mourning: The Inauguration of the Mishkan

Studying the laws of mourning is sometimes accompanied by a bit of nervous energy. People often want to stay away from this area of Halakha until someone passes away1. I understand those feelings and want to honor that experience. At the same time, the laws of aveilut have much to teach even people who are not currently observing these dinim. Also, there is a real value in having a framework in which these mysterious laws and customs can be approached so that when someone experiences a loss, they can do so with a deeper understanding.

Each essay in this series will present one or two texts in the original Hebrew or Aramaic along with a translation. The texts that I have chosen are significant in the history of Halakha and also have a broader message that reflects the human insight of chazal. We will begin with an enigmatic text from the Talmud Yerushalmi that opens with a surprising question:

מניין לאבל מן התורה שבעה? 

From where in the Torah do we know to observe mourning for seven days?

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