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Coercion, Choice, Power and Consent – Purim and Sexuality

Coercion, Choice, Power and Consent – Purim and Sexuality

Gerard Hoet (Dutch, 1648–1733 The Hague) Moses protects the Jewish People from God’s revelation on Sinai

Introduction:

There are certain foundational rabbinic texts and images that take on a new, and sometimes alarming, meaning when read with twenty-first century eyes. It is important to relate to the texts of the Rabbis with great respect and even reverence. However, we must also be able to be honest when the rabbinic idiom no longer resonates.We will begin with a key Midrash about the nature of revelation which is often read and re-read around Purim and Shavuot. We will then move to a text about appropriate (and inappropriate) physical relationships between husband and wife.

The classic rabbinic read of the Song of Songs presents the relationship between God and the Jewish People as lover and beloved. That imagery is laced through the Midrash and the liturgy. At one level, that metaphor is beautiful, moving and inspirational. However, given the reality of abuse in marital relationships and the dangers associated with human sexuality, a piece of those images can be scary. We sing every Friday night about the connection of the lover and their beloved – לכה דודי לקראת כלה – but what happens when the lived partnership breaks down into a relationship of anger or, God forbid, violence. How might those people experience Kabalat Shabbat?

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